Saturday, June 2, 2018

The haunting .....

Today I went shopping with Daughter, we started off at a cute little vintage clothing place. I was the walking wallet, and happily so. I bought two crazy western styled shirts for Son but Daughter found nothing.
We headed off and did some op-shopping (thrifting) and she bought some stuff and I tried not to breathe too deeply at the fountain of human odours mixed with moth balls.
We went to a discount food bulk buying kind of place. It had the craziest array of foods , it had litres of toppings, like you use for milkshakes, plus the pumpy things to put in the top. I stood there for a ridiculous amount of time trying to justify buying one.
 They had food items for five cents !! Five cents, you can't even put five cents in a parking meter... They also weird angry woman doll things to make your fridge smell good.
Then we saw the bag of sauce, yes a BAG of sauce.... like litres of sauce.... a huge bag of sauce (ketchup). It was like the bag of wine inside a cask , but clear and full of sauce. It had no valve it was just a sealed bag...of sauce.
I totally lost my shit. I could not stop laughing. It was huge and blobby and wobbly and strangely medical...like a giant bag of sauce. I would stop laughing but then think about laughing and it would all start again like some weird hysterical time space distortion of laughing and I had to clench every woman muscle I have.

After I calmed down and wiped the tears, we continued to shop and yet I kept thinking of all the shit I could do with a bag of sauce. I could buy two bags and be totally sauce-rich. How would I decant it ? Could I pierce the bag and squirt it at people ? There was a lot of boxes of bags of sauce at this place...why hadn't I heard of sauce -related mischief around the town?

We kept shopping , we bought stupid stuff but its food so I am ok with it. 
On the drive home we discussed all the pranks we could pull with a bag of sauce. Oh how I wish I took a photo....

(I have shoppers remorse-I can't stop thinking about the sauce)