So we are in the last week of school holidays and the enormously unrealistic mountain of to-do jobs is still enormously unrealistic.
Today involves approximately 5 million completely unrelated, dull and not crafty jobs to do - like:
- buying more food. Are mine the only children capable of eating more than most nations gross national output of food a week whilst on holidays - does this mean they starve during school times? It is one of the big life questions isn't it?
- Dropping trousers in the the take-up-trousers-lady. (DO not get on my case about this ! Just because I sew does not mean I have to take up my own trousers. If I take up my own trousers ...then I know I have taken up my own trousers and I am sure they are wonky and taken-up looking. I am self-conscious of my taken up trousers and then I rarely wear them - if I give them to the take-up-trousers lady , she takes them up, I love them and I wear them- and I love going to the take-up-trouser lady's shop)
- I have to buy new bras today - (too much information???). I HATE bra shopping with a passion but as the existing bra's are only holding together through good wishes and willpower. It has to be done. I dislike it so much that I did, briefly consider becoming a bra-less crusader but given the effects of gravity and the way I hunch over my sewing machine......... you all get the picture.
- I have to go to the post office and buy groceries and take this poor computer in to the doctor (see how I just let that most distressing fact slip into the list as if it doesn't even bother me ).
- I may just need to buy some fabric to bind granny's quilt- still slightly undecided on that one.
- I have to do all this with 13 yr old son as 17 yr old daughter has half the local teenage population descending on our house in a few hours- yes stores have been laid up, the pantry is groaning with food(which will last a nanosecond) and valuables have been placed out of reach. That last bit is not because of theft, these kids are ENORMOUS and the move and skitter around with all the co-ordination of dancing wheelbarrows - things get broken -they just do!
- oh and I have to boil up 6 litres of fake blood.
You can never underestimate the value of a good take-up-trouser lady (especially if she moonlights as a good insert-a-new-fly-front-zipper lady, too).
ReplyDeleteNow, I wonder if you might be able to outsource to a good boil-up-6-litres-of-fake-blood lady?
Um...should i ask - fake blood??? I hope it's not for tomorrow!!! i am getting nervous now...!
ReplyDeleteRest assured your teens are not the only ones capable of eating you out of house and home. As for the mending and hemming of your trousers, I am with you on that. My husband often asks me to sew buttons back on his shirts, but I tell you it just isn't like sewing a button on a quilt or bag. The shirt usually sits there for a while and then he gets frustrated and sews the @#*% button on himself. As for the fake blood????
ReplyDeleteOh dear, I certainly don't envy that huge list! I hope you have a spare computer to fill in while the other is at the doctor....and I'm very curious about the fake blood.
ReplyDeleteAs for bra shopping...uuugggghh.
At least the children aren't trying to extract the blood from each other as sometimes happens here.
ReplyDeleteOne more thing to add to your list, stalk the postie, I finally got those selvedges off on Sunday. Hope they are of some use to you!
oh jodie, you are a gem! good luck with that to do list, and the invasion of teenagers!
ReplyDeleteOk, you can't just throw that fake blood comment in and not explain.....
ReplyDeleteI love going to the trouser take-up lady too. So fast and neat and obliging. She rocks.
ReplyDeleteHope the computer isn't terminally ill.
Hope your computer is as good as new soon and that those teenagers leave you some food-good luck with the brewing of the fake blood-must have the recipe!!!Hope you get to do your much more fun crafty list real soon.
ReplyDeleteGood luck! Hope a few extra's come home with you after buying the binding with all that hard work..
ReplyDeleteI like most people.... after the 'fake blood' comment are too intrigued by that to really care what else you may need to do today! FAKE BLOOD!? I'll "bite" (haha) and ask ... what's the fake blood for?!
ReplyDeleteAnd as for the take-up-trouser lady... unfortunately because I sew everyone thinks that i want to take up EVERYONE'S trousers. I HATE IT!
Boiling up fake blood WOW whats for tea makes me wonder? LOL
ReplyDeleteHugs Mary
You can never have tooo much fake blood!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteLove the photoes. Is it easy to find recipes for fake blood these days??
ReplyDeleteI hear you on the bra shopping. I did it yesterday and even though I hated it I must admit my back is feeling great today wearing my new bra. I'm not even going to ask about the fake blood
ReplyDeleteWhat adorable pictures. And there's grasshopper along for the ride! I wish I lived near you -- I'd gladly (and anonymously) take your old bras off of your hands. I need them for a prank I'll be pulling on a certain someone in a few months. It's kind of hard to ask friends for old bras though -- I certainly wouldn't want anyone seeing mine. My peeps have started my collection though and I'm about 1/2 way to goal LOL!
ReplyDeleteYou have an uncanny knack of identifying the big issues in life - I have often pondered why we need more food during school holiday periods. I think I need to out source to a take-up trousers lady too - mine have usually gone out of fashion by the time I get around to them. As for the fake blood....
ReplyDeleteyour photos are so cute Jodie they always make me smile the ones of your dolls and critters!! As for bra shopping! I am with you on that one, so much so that I bought my last one on Ebay and as long as you get your measurements right, it's fine and beats putting up with 11 yo sales assistants who reek of arrogance and ignorance!!!!
ReplyDeleteI won't take up my own pants either
ReplyDeleteI buy my bras online
What is with the blood...?
Why is it that we sewers hate mending, Me too. (Gladly alter or mend for someone else).. "I am sick of hearing whats there to eat, Im hungry!".. Might get a t-shirt made. LOOK IN THE FRUIT BOWL OR BISCUIT TIN"..
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the over the shoulder boulder holders thingy...
PS - did the parcel arrive? Things get lost in my husbands ute quite often..
Hi Jodie, thanks for the laugh I just had reading your bog!!! It is a shame all these jobs get in the way of sewing!! Guess what? I have a take up trouser lady too!! Enjoy the rest of the hol's, we will be back before we know it.
ReplyDeleteBra shopping eh? I am finally actually glad I'm a bloke... tho' I still would prefer to be a cat...
ReplyDeleteIf you have all those teenagers, why use fake blood... just take a pint from each of them... for your friendly neighbourhood vampire.
BTW... does Buffy live near you? She would know where to get blood from.
"green, green, bind it in green.
ReplyDeletegreen, green, bind it in green.
green, green, bind it in green.
green, green, bind it in green."
So goes the chant up on top of the hill here.
Just your average sort of day then!
ReplyDeleteThat is the most pathetic excuse I have ever heard for not doing your own mending...but Im with you...the local seamstress took up Miss 13's box pleat winter skirt...say no more!!! CAthyx
ReplyDeleteHi jodie! I'm new to reading your blog (chanced upon it from someone elses blog...and so glad i did!) I love your blog!
ReplyDeleteAnd I agree with you on the bra shopping....ugh...i won't even go there actually...
But the fake blood has intrigued me, and I love your 'granny quilt'...its gorgeous!
Cheers,
Sam
I don't do my own mending either - I'm constantly being told off by my mum for wearing a cardigan with a hole under the arm and the collar half off - I did fix it once but it's beginning to come loose again!
ReplyDeleteLove the photos!
Lucy x
You are so funny! I have that same problem with food during school vacations!!! Can't they find anything else to do with their time!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm with you on the pants issue. I wouldn't even attempt it.
ReplyDeleteI can understand some fake blood, just worried about the six litres and where the mess from the six litres will end up???
ReplyDeleteI went without the internet for 36 hours a few weeks ago and nearly hyperventilated!!! Hope your PC feels better soon...
Wouldn't you rather spend the day outside on the swing with your friends? I LOVE it - it is one of your best accessories, and everyone should have a grasshopper to swing with!
ReplyDeletePeople like you keep the trouser take up lady in business, and I'm sure she's thankful for that.
My degree in forensic science (see how I casually drop that here, anywhere else it would be my degree in chemistry) can tell you the best way to make fake blood is using the following 4 ingredients:
ReplyDeleteBlack Coffee
Water
Corn Flour
Red Food colouring
Boil it up together until you get a nice looking consistency. If you want it thick eg, for my case I wanted lumpy bits and bits coming off someones head, pour most of it out into another container and boil the remainder down until really thick.
And the human body only contains about 5 liters of blood, so you might be going overboard with here :)
I can only ask WHY???? is it to scare away the kids friends?
ReplyDeleteHi Jodie, I was just wondering if any of the girls will be going into the Etsy shop soon? Our sweet little Ester needs a sister!
ReplyDeleteLove the swing pics - just perfect. Camelias all around my house - thank you
ReplyDeleteAnd you will get to rest when?
ReplyDeleteGah! Just worked out why. All Hallows Eve is coming...but that's the end of October, so that could wait a bit. You could have Melanie doing her CSI bit too for added drama.
ReplyDeleteI know I am going to write down Melanie's recipe and try it out... who knows,it might even get me a day off work!!
I did 4 jobs today. That means I only have 4,999,996 left to do.
ReplyDeleteOh and my kids do that too ... eat like you wouldn't believe in the school holidays. How weird is that?!?!
x
Hee hee - I have a pile of Monster's trousers that require restitching in the crotch area plus some hems to redo. He'll have outgrown them by the time I get round to fixing them!
ReplyDeleteI'm very intrigued and slightly disturbed about the 6 litres of fake blood thing...
With you on the bra shopping thing hence I have a drawerful of bras that don't fit 'cos I couldn't be bothered to try them on!
Hope the computer isn't on holiday for too long :(
xxx
do you think the kids eat more in the holidays to compensate for the little they eat during term. My middle boy hardly eats at school - apparently lunch time is wasted on eating lunch!!
ReplyDeletegoodluck with the bra shopping. my advice is to find a good one and buy 4!
l
x
Boil up blood. Yep, that's on my to do list this week too.
ReplyDeletei feel so relieved that you don't take up trousers..
ReplyDeleteI hate bra shopping too! My mum says when they're old that 'all the goodness has gone out of them'-makes me laugh every time! I'm a 'take up trouser lady' in real life, feel free to pop 'em in if you're passing!!
ReplyDeleteohhhhh...teenagers...isn't it amazing how they can seem to take up more room then a elephant parked in your longue room....not that a have a spare elephant hanging around for you to test this fact out...but it's true...and they all seem to want a half an hour shower and use the bathroom all at the same time...god i just love'm...
ReplyDeleteCute doll...but no computer, that feels like your arm is cut off-but you do get a bit done!!
ReplyDeleteAnd I have no food here either! KIDS!
Tracey.
If I hear once more "Mum, what can I have to eat" I'll scream.
ReplyDeleteThey are only 5 & 8 so what are they going to be like in 10 years time?
When my eldest was a toddler he barely ate and I spent many hours trying to entice him. If only I had known then what he'd be like now, I would not have worried.
He eats more than me, I swear.
A take up lady is worth her weight in gold. I love mine!
When I get 'commanded' to take up things usually with the added 'but you sew' I reply that I am an artiste and it is beneath me and a waste of my talents!
ReplyDeletei have three boys on holidays too - what food?
Oh thank God!! I thought I was the only person in the world like me!!! Glad you dont take your trousers up, it kinda gives me permission to not take mine up. I took my trousers up and they look dumb now.
ReplyDeleteWe are going away for a week and leaving the 17 year old home, with a freezer full of food, and I bet his mates come round and clean us out... oh joy of joys!!! :)
I thought I was the only one that hated bra shopping. Last time I went to get "fitted ' for a bra, a lady with trussed up torpedo tits and a bee hive to die for, wrestled me into a bra that squeaked when I moved!!!the kids got the giggles over the size of her boobies
ReplyDelete,and I realised that this was an activity that was best done alone!!
Ah yes, I know all about teenagers like wheelbarrows and their seemingly never ending appetites.
ReplyDeleteI swear I spent the first 8 years of my sond life trying to get him to eat and the next 8 trying to get him to stop!
Ah yes, I know all about teenagers like wheelbarrows and their seemingly never ending appetites.
ReplyDeleteI swear I spent the first 8 years of my sond life trying to get him to eat and the next 8 trying to get him to stop!
I so appreciate my little nearly 5 yr old now, hope I have more energy when she starts having school holidays!
ReplyDeleteLove your blog and have given you a favourite blog award, see my blog if you want to play along.
I have said it before and I will say it again,you are truly gifted as a writer,you crack me up every time!
ReplyDeleteWhile everyone else is a little shook up about the fake blood, I can overlook that topic. I'm hoping you'll have time to get back to that Big Selvage Project. Well, I am a little curious about the blood. :)
ReplyDeleteI would KILL to go bra shopping! One year of breast-feeding...wearing the same two totally NOT sexy maternity bras to death. When this kid is weaned (horrid word) the first thing I am going to do is go on a bra buying spree. Oh to have bras without clips on them *sigh*. Ok, I am going on about this a bit aren't I?
ReplyDeleteThe bra story hit a cord...Mmmmm so I am not the only one.....
ReplyDeleteWhat a great list! Although I DO like bra shopping - maybe because I need to do it so badly post maternity bra.
ReplyDeleteI've been snooping around in your archives. Six years later and I am still trying to hold in the wee. Not 100% successfully mind you. Girl, you are funny! I can't wait for May!
ReplyDelete