I'd laugh if it didn't hurt so much

Dear friends, gather round and I shall share such tales with you. Tales that will make your toes curl, your hair stand on end and the milk curdle in your tea. You may weep and you may laugh.

Our weary traveller set off on a journey of discovery. She wished to know the meaning of the hideous neck pain that plagued her life. She visited the woman with healing hands and placed her faith in her. The healer did all she could and yet it was not enough. Pain plagued the traveller. The traveller prostrated herself before a doctor of high standing.

The doctor praised the travellers stoicism and prescribed some magical beans. She told the traveller tales of a man with magical hands. The man with the magic hands worked in a darkened room, he spread his unguents upon the traveller before bending and twisting her into shapes unknown to her body.

The traveller felt good. The traveller returned to the man with magic hands and was given instructions to wield a magic stick every morning and night... but something was wrong. something was brewing.

The traveller was unwell. The traveller felt a growing discomfort. The traveller hurt. The traveller  pressed on. The traveller was in agony. The magic beans had turned against her. The magic beans were fighting to get out of her body. The traveller was bereft and tried to visit the doctor of high standing. The doctor of high standing could not see her so spoke to her over the waves.

"I will give you new magic beans," said the doctor. You will feel well"

The weary traveller was losing faith, but she took the new magic beans and slept.

In the morning, the weary traveller's neck hurt like hell.

Gratuitous dolly clothes photo.

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Choose your own adventure

1. Jodie is such a caring person, full of the spirit of Christmas. She lovingly cut and pasted personalised gift tags for all her Christmas gifts.

2. Jodie forgot to buy gift tags and refuses to go anywhere a near a shop so she hacked up the weekend newspaper to make gift tags for the family Kris Kringle (and the rest of the non-public gifts have people’s name written on the wrapping in sharpie)

may your halls be decked..if hall decking is your thing.

Ballast

The lazy-arse designer is stuck once again on just the right name for this little creative card pattern.

Who are they? What are they celebrating? Have they joined the circus?

Of course I have a back-up name that I like but don’t love. Why is this so hard  ? because I am Jodie,  gold medallist in over-thinking. Anyway if you want to toss an idea into the ring ,please do. The best name will win a little hog of their very own and I'll post it to wherever you live .

(I’ll give you a clue…I’m not a great fan of alliteration)

So while you guys get to work, I’m going to go and sit on my aforementioned lazy-arse and have a cup of tea.

Discombobulated.. or Jodie is sick of the sight and sound of herself

Most of the last two weeks has been disappointingly discombobulated ...Why ? well because I am an idiot basically. As usual, I set myself HUGE MASSIVE UNREACHABLE goals for the two weeks off work and then got the total shits on with myself for not even getting close to achieving them. Team that with a dose of E.I.T.T.T.S and that's a whole big overflowing cup of ugly !
It's so easy to concentrate on what I haven't done , or haven't had time to finish...
So pardon me while I indulge in a bit of reality therapy won't you?
Hi my name is Jodie and in the last two weeks :

Reuben got released.

I went to AQC with Annie and Lizzie where I bought a new sewing machine !
I was introduced to an awesome new fabric shop
I made a tea-set

I dressed an elephant

I made a truly beautiful tea-pot out of Liberty fabric from the aforementioned fabric shop.
I wrote a whole new pattern that is off being tested as we speak
I made an awesome chicken with Sooz and Amy during a fabulous visit. I mended clothes for the no-longer-living-at -home teen
I spent a day sewing with the hairy-still-living-at-home-teen.
I read 5 books (kids lit-nice and easy)
I finished the final tweaking of (as in totally finished) three projects for Daylesford Craft ExperienceI cooked, cleaned (not very much) mothered, daughtered, wifed, transported and generally did all that other boring non-blogworthy stuff as well.
My inability to logically look at that list and be happy with it drives me almost as insane as the ridiculous expectations I have in the first place. Seriously I should go to Cash Converters and trade my brain in for something useful - like a fondue pot!