Im a little teapot......

Short and stout

here is my handle

here is my spout

When I get all steamed up......then I

(then, quite obviously I send abusive emails to spammers)

P.S I am actually a bitch !

So today is the end of the working week for me ...and it been a kind of prickly one - Not dreadful, but a bit uncomfortable - like bad undies....

and the toilet has finally given up the ghost. Regular real-life visitors will know it has been a bit of a disaster for a while...with strict directions about which button that could be pushed.
Well now it just runs constantly and the lid sits on the floor and.....its a disaster. (and we are in water restrictions and I am scared I won't be able to have a drink 'cause my dunny used all the water)

So I have a plumber who is THE BOMB.... He had me take photos of the toilet and email them to him, so he didn't waste a trip to check it out.... How cool is that ?

This week I met a new friend called Amit.... a lovely guy I am sure, but as I said earlier - it has been a bad undies week..... so when Amit wrote me a little comment (one of very very many comments about setting up a home -based business in India) saying "oh Great teacups"

well, I'm sorry to say words failed me and my general bonhomie had expired and the best I could do was " Oh get yourself totally and irrevocably stuffed "
Having spent hours this week (no exaggeration) wiping stupid advertising and crazy Viagra comments from posts as old as two years ago ) I have had enough !
I'm sorry that I am not witty or erudite or scathingly brilliant in my retorts...really I just want them bugger off.... simple as that !

parole

With time out for good behaviour, (because I have NAILED two patterns over the weekend)

I have been making tea-cups for a display tea-set... 42 outer pieces and 42 inner pieces - just for the cups !

I once read, on a blog funnily enough, a person who said if they became ridiculously, embarrassingly rich then they would hire a cutter-outer....

If I were ridiculously embarrassingly rich (after I had dealt with world peace and poverty and all that)....I would hire a personal shopper, someone to go and buy all my clothes for me, organise them and tell me what to wear on which day, what matched and what to avoid...or if I were super really embarrassingly rich enough - I might just take to wearing pyjamas everywhere.

(I'm so superficial )

playing truant

So , having devoted the whole weekend to pattern-writing I am not really here. I have been quite productive so far, made the most stupendously ridiculous mistakes and mis-printed far far too many pages.

But, in a dash to Aldi...I found this little cart.

I had seen these months ago and thought they would be a cute display item but I resisted, so I was pretty surprised today to find one still there (and better yet half-price). So I bought one and assembled it this afternoon.
(It's lucky I speak that crazy weird instructional assemblage language.....this made IKEA look like baby blocks)

I think its a bit OTT myself and am planning to give it a bit of a makeover these holidays .

(oh and don't tell anyone you saw me- I'm writing patterns!)

If my brain had an off switch...

So I liked, but didn't love the little guys.....I'm not sure why really, they are quite cute. I kept thinking about them and I just wasn't sure they were finished...

I thought it would be good to make them a little bag to be carried in...something simple...maybe drawstring? But because its me I had to go one step further....

I thought of windows... round windows .... and if you have windows, obviously you need a door !

and if you have a door, and a letterbox and a number, then obviously you have a house.

a portable house for your pig and your kitten and your monkey with special window pockets on the front and plenty of room inside for all the things that a pig and a kitten and monkey might need.
Too much?

(*with that, she dusts of her hands and tells herself firmly that she is not allowed to start ANY new projects until she has made a man-sized dent in the pattern writing).
Groan

I booked the choir

Man, I have been busting myself to get this project finished today....

But no matter how many times I tweak and re-tweak, the inevitable crunch came when the perfect fabric ....was about 10 cm's too short. Oh the agony of a finish that is soooo close.
(insert chest beating and clod throwing here)

Today I also wrote a bit of list for myself and totally fruck myself out . The thing is , I'd like to get some new patterns ready for the Stitches and Craft show in May. I have a rather long list of things I'd like to do but in reality I have to accept that they will not all get done , so today I auditioned for projects to become patterns....

First place of course has to go to Ernst and his dear love Pebble...yes?

Then maybe these guys , once I finish their accessories...

and I'd love to do these guys as well.....
What do you think?

Will you be coming along to Stitches and Craft? If you came along last year you might have had the chance to visit one of the uber-busy craft bars.
Well, Living Creatively are looking for people to help "man" the craft bars. Volunteers are needed in Sydney(April 14 - 18), Canberra (April 22-25) and Melbourne (May 5-9).
They are looking for people to share basic sewing and embroidery skills with people at the craft bars.
There is also some fun crocheting that needs demonstrating in Sydney and Melbourne.
In return for a days "work" you'll get two free tickets to the show and a stitches and Craft bag.
Apart from that of course you'll get to meet a bazillion or so crazy crafters and share your skills with craft-lovers.

To find out more email enquiries(AT)stitchesandcraft(DOT)com(DOT)au

and if you're there, I'll be seeing you in Melbourne, displaying my usual grace and decorum and even reprising the bloggy talks of last year, this time hopefully with
less mishaps and less blood!

Seriously guys,

Craft camp has put the spring in my step, the smile on my dial and the duck in my truck!

I laughed, I guffawed, I snorted !
It was only the utmost concentration and leg clenching that kept me from total embarrassment.

(Personally I find this guy oddly appealing, right after I took this photo he winked and asked me to "spring" him. He said he would make it worth my while)