Saturday, July 13, 2013

Buses, wankers and superpowers

I went for a ride on the bus and took my 'bus-craft' with me

I settled in and got organised ......only to find I had neglected to pack a needle.

So I spent my time listening to Val, talk to Tracey about Sean. "He's a good boy, Sean. He doesn't mean those things. He's always been a bit fiery you know, ever since he was a little tacker" The conversation went on....and on ...... and on.....and then Val rang Sean to talk about Tracey. 'Well thats just the way she is Sean, some girls are like that- it'll all work out".

Just between you and me (and Tracey.)

Sean is a wanker.

( I could tell...its like a superpower)

Maybe when my LSL ends I could hire myself as a wanker detector? I could team it with my insane olfactory prowess and not only save you from a bad relationship but also let you know when the milk is on the turn ! A two for the price of one deal.

Whats your superpower? Maybe we could form a posse and have a hidden clubhouse and fight crime or wankers or really bad craft together. You just know my first thought is COSTUMES !!!!

38 comments:

  1. My superpower is to fit copious amounts of fabric and yarn into numerous small spaces. Just ask hubby.

    I reckon that I'd have to knit my cape.

    My other superpower is that I am always right. ALWAYS. Just ask hubby about that too.

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    1. Capes are a must !!!!! ( and being right is helpful too)

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  2. I'm sorry, but I am so glad you forgot your needle. That post made me crack up! You made my morning.

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  3. Coming up with complictaed ideas that other people have to carry out. I'm more of a SuperVillain in need of minions really.

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    1. Awesome, you and your ideas ( thankyou am ruminating on it before I reply) can be in charge of whatever division you like.

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    2. I'm with A Peppermint Penguin - I all ready have plans to become World Despot. I am open to petitions to for the post of Benign Dictator.

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  4. Ahhh, the superpowers! As a teacher in a high school Id say my super power is silence and lip biting around wankers....maybe I should put on lycra with my nana undies over the top and show them what I really think! :-)
    Once again a gem of a post!
    Dont wish the LSL away yet!

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  5. I needed a good laugh!! A couple of weeks ago I had the misfortune to have to catch a bus. My mother and my teenage daughter sat in front of my sister and I. In front of her was two little old dears and one across the aisle from them. As soon as they sat down to blokes that were sitting near us got up and took off up the back of said bus. Off we started and the next thing one of the old dears was having trouble getting the seat belt on, so Mum doing her good deed for the day decided to help her. Oh **** I said to my sister Mum has engaged them in conversation so that was the rest of the trip listening to our 'Val' and co talking about all of the days dramas. I actually felt like ripping the ipod out of my daughters ears and listening to One Direction (thats were the wankers come in!!)

    I've been thinking about what superpower I could be and went from one to the other and think it might be procastination.

    When I go travelling I always pack extra needles cause I always seem to drop and can't find it if I only have one with me. Pack the whole packet and you don't loose one.

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  6. trust you to be thinking of the costumes first.........

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  7. LOL...
    Have to think a bit about my superpowers (laughing too hard at the moment to think straight), but with costumes and a secret clubhouse in the offing... I'm in!!! ;o)

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  8. You always make me LOL...I have said it before and I will say it again....you are just toooooo funny woman!

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  9. I don't have a super power but I like the idea of costumes

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  10. Oh goody, can we all have adult size versions of red riding hood's cape? It's so cute... Little daughter did ask me if I'd be knitting her vests and knickers soon, as I seem to be making her a whole wardrobe at the moment...

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    1. Just stop before the knitted swimming costume . A child in the '50s , I had to wear one my granny knitted .

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  11. I see myself in a support role, ready with a constant supply of chocolate back at the clubhouse. I also envision red riding hood's cape as an essential item for our costumes.

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  12. This was so good! You even make catching the bus seam like fun! I NEED a Super Power, Like How To Catch the Right Transport! I always get lost!

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  13. Ha ha! You made me miss catching the bus to work every day.
    Superpowers? Does tea drinking count?
    I too love costumes. Last weekend I went to an Indian-themed evening. As someone who grew up with a family dress-up and costume box for all ages, built up gradually from op-shop treasures, it just seemed natural to have a sari in the cupboard. Apparently, this is not normal.

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  14. My main superpower is being able to type relatively quickly with a fair degree of accuracy. My minor superpower is being a Grumpy. It comes with the territory, apparently. :)
    I'm glad you left your needles behind. This must have been such an amusing trip. :)

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  15. You've already embroidered the undies haven't you?

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  16. I know so many people who could befit from this service!!

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  17. ooh, i wonder what happens next??

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  18. Can I be the Bulls**t detector? I think I do this really well. And I know the sign language for it too!!!

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  19. You're hysterical! Forgetting one's needle has great benefits for the rest of us!!!

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  20. That's an awesome superpower. Bet you never forget your needle again .... or your ear phones!!

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  21. It took me two weeks. TWO whole weeks to realise my fridge wasn't working and that's why the milk was on the turn and things smelled a bit funny. I need your super-powers. Please send me a kit.

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  22. I look inoffensive and thus have Marple-Power, the ability to get people to tell me any and all of their personal business. I do however have a 'faille', in that inpersonal small talk slowly drains away my powers until I lose the will to live...

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  23. Is inpersonal even a word? Apparently living in France has drained my super-spelling abilities..

    Oh and regarding costumes, I'm not up for capes (please see The Incredibles) nor am I a great fan of panties over lycra leggings, I only have grey faded panties with dodgy elastic and that'll never do.

    I'm thinking fabulous fitted dresses with a cinch at the waist and a booblifting powers to give us superboobs, maybe in red..I'm just throwing that out there..and a skirt that spins out when we do our Wonder woman twirls.

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    1. Love the costume idea. If this is the costume then I really need to be part of this group!!

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  24. I think I'm still honing my super power - dodging bogans. You think you've avoided them then BAM, you're in the city mall and they're everywhere. With their kryptonite 'ciggies'...... I don't need a cape, I need a face mask.

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  25. My superpower is reading maps/directions. I can also pick a wanker from 60 paces. What I don't have is gaydar .. hopeless.
    In regards to costumes, I must quote a line from The Indredibles "No Capes,EVER" LOL

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    1. I've had time to think overnight ...
      seeing as my superpower is reading directions, my name could be ...
      (wait for it) DIRECTION GIRL!!!
      (not to be confused with Erection Girl .. she has a completely different set of superpowers).
      And my catch cry ...
      Direction Girl, I never get lost cause people are always telling me where to go!!!
      (do you think we can stitch that on some undies? mine are very large knickers)

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  26. I agree with Timolily, NO CAPES! Maybe you could do a course with Edna the costumier to the Superheroes. I have Bull**it and Wanker detection powers. But I have the strength of a very sick bunny...actually I also have the mentality of a very sick bunny, but that's another story.

    You mustn't forget your needles, you need a utility belt. Also needles needed to jab the wankers with.

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    1. needles in the utility belt .. sensational.

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  27. Oh Jodie you are so funny. I know which bus that would have been. I was on train one day when 2 young men were discussing the attributes of the photos sexted to them. Too much for me. I stood over them and said hey fellas save that till you get to your own lounge room! Guess where they got off!

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  28. I have no super powers but I'm always a willing participant when it comes to funny things. I'd be willing to ask for Sean's phone number and call him up and TELL him he's a wanker! Really, I would! ;p

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  29. Hmm...two fairly dubious superpowers to my name. First is the ability to name crap movies I haven't seen and their actors simply by recollecting the cover of the box I saw once ages ago in a video store (do those even exist any more?). The second is be able to predict a divorce a minimum of 2 years out. Except my own, of course. That would have been useful!

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  30. I just came across your site through Greendoodle and you are awesome! This particular post had me laughing until I had tears streaming down my face....hit my funny bone just right! Off to enjoy the rest of your site :)

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  31. I just read this and freaked out. Since I will be on the train for about 7 hours all up when I come to Crafty Hijinks, I better make sure I have all the necessary craft equipment with me or I may just go insane!

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Hellloooooo !!!!