Thursday, January 18, 2018

It all became clear

This week I had to go to the doctor. I had a few other things to do on the same day so I planned out my itinerary.
Now, at my house if you want to go somewhere and NOT be covered in dog hair when you get there...then you get dressed at the last possible minute which I did.
I set off, it was a lovely day - kinda warm but manageable. It became apparent that I was wearing really uncomfortable pants. I was squirming in the car seat as I drove. I stopped at the post office and did my posting and paused for a sneaky readjustment as I got back into the car. 
Nope, still ridiculously uncomfortable. I tried driving one handed while fudging around the back of my pants to no avail. Did I have a burr in my pants ? why were they all sideways ?
I did a bunch of small drop-offs and pick ups all the while getting crankier at the state of the stupid pants, determined I would throw the bastards into the bin as soon as I got home. 
I finally got to the Very Important Doctors place... and I waited. I squirmed a bit and waited some more. I waited until I started to feel the sweat rolling down my butt crack.
It was like my arse was having a hot flush. 
After more than hour I get escorted into the Nurses office, where she bangs on and on and on and on about how hard it is to be a woman. I smiled a lot and squirmed, and really really wanted to deal with the pants. She talked a lot, basically warning me of every possible disease I could and would probably have as my body falls apart between now and my inevitably horrible death.
(I don't think she was having a good day).
Finally it is time to go behind the curtain and remove the lower half (yeah, one of THOSE visits). I rip off the pants with glee only to find, I was wearing a pair of brand new pants! So new in fact that they had two safety pins, three ribbons, three cardboard tags, a couple of those plastic string things and a little plastic bag containing spare buttons all tucked inside.....

I laughed so much I think the grumpy nurse will need stress counselling




21 comments:

  1. That is priceless! Pant's - 1 Jodie - 0 lol

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  2. Hilarious - I'm crying! you are so funny :)

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  3. Thanks for the laugh babe, made my shitty day better!! ❤️

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  4. Laughter is contagious. Thanks for the outright guffaw! And maybe the grumpy nurse had one too.

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  5. love your stories, wish you could visit me when i am down, just to tell me one of these stories. lol Much love

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  6. Lol! Thanks for sharing. Glad it wasn’t a scorpion or something vile like that!!

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  7. This is so funny! and easy to relate to!

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  8. Up until the end, being British, I was reading knickers for pants. I hate those ones where you feel like you're taking in tomorrow's washing. However, unless you buy incredibly posh, expensive, highly ornate knickers, the pack of spare buttons alerted me to the fact you might actually mean what I would call trousers. But, wait, I thought it was only the Americans that called trousers pants and you're Australian. Maybe you are talking about knickers after all. Either way, the story works :) (apart from the buttons).

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  9. Oh poor you! You are much more patient than I. I am impressed that you can avoid pet hair by dressing last minute. I have no such luck, it's everywhere.

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  10. You are so funny... and I have something very similar with a card label where it shouldn't be!

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  11. Too funny! At least the new symptoms were able to be rectified right away. Are the pants good now?

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  12. Love ya work. ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’œ

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  13. Made me laugh. Thanks for sharing a funny situation. Maybe the nurse needs a sense of humour! Surely this would have made her day seem better.

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Hellloooooo !!!!