This week I had to go to the doctor. I had a few other things to do on the same day so I planned out my itinerary.
Now, at my house if you want to go somewhere and NOT be covered in dog hair when you get there...then you get dressed at the last possible minute which I did.
I set off, it was a lovely day - kinda warm but manageable. It became apparent that I was wearing really uncomfortable pants. I was squirming in the car seat as I drove. I stopped at the post office and did my posting and paused for a sneaky readjustment as I got back into the car.
Nope, still ridiculously uncomfortable. I tried driving one handed while fudging around the back of my pants to no avail. Did I have a burr in my pants ? why were they all sideways ?
I did a bunch of small drop-offs and pick ups all the while getting crankier at the state of the stupid pants, determined I would throw the bastards into the bin as soon as I got home.
I finally got to the Very Important Doctors place... and I waited. I squirmed a bit and waited some more. I waited until I started to feel the sweat rolling down my butt crack.
It was like my arse was having a hot flush.
After more than hour I get escorted into the Nurses office, where she bangs on and on and on and on about how hard it is to be a woman. I smiled a lot and squirmed, and really really wanted to deal with the pants. She talked a lot, basically warning me of every possible disease I could and would probably have as my body falls apart between now and my inevitably horrible death.
(I don't think she was having a good day).
Finally it is time to go behind the curtain and remove the lower half (yeah, one of THOSE visits). I rip off the pants with glee only to find, I was wearing a pair of brand new pants! So new in fact that they had two safety pins, three ribbons, three cardboard tags, a couple of those plastic string things and a little plastic bag containing spare buttons all tucked inside.....
I laughed so much I think the grumpy nurse will need stress counselling
