whats crapper than crap ?

So I went to the doctor and I had a test that involved something akin to a small bottle brush being shoved up my nose.

Chances are I have whooping cough -the word looks like fun doesn't it? "whooping" yeah well its a big fat fail in the fun department. Its also a fail in the sleeping department and the eating department and the any chance of feeling less crap than crap department.

Breathing hurts.

I'll see you when things are less crap.

Being a grown-up sucks......

Because being a grown up means you have to know when you are too sick to actually do something you really want to do - Like go to the Quilt and Craft show tomorrow.

At the moment I could not walk down an aisle without needing to pause and sit down.

An elephant is sitting on my chest and there is a steel ball rolling around inside my head - Right now the only thing not hurting is my eyelashes !

Normally I'm a concret pills kind of girl - take two and harden the hell up ! But no amount of self-talk or fabric promises will get this body out of bed and on that train tomorrow.

Sorry.

Burp.............

Oops !

Sorry for burping on blogs -Izzy said that burping is not manners.

Holidays ? Are you ready?

Have you seen what's started ?

That's right Somewhat simple , Cindy at skip to my lou and A Southern Fairytale have joined blog forces to bring you a huge range of

Holiday baking, sewing and crafting tutorials.

Yep everyday from now until August 1st each of these blogs will be sharing a fantastic tutorial.

You know, I always promise myself that I won't leave it till the end of the year to start my making, but I always do. Maybe this is what I need to get me in the mood. I have to admit that last year was a bit of a handmade disaster, rescued only by Etsy.

On Tuesday 20th Cindy will be featuring my One-Hour bag tutorial. If you want to join in, on any of the blogs, any of the tutorials why not post your stuff in the flickr pool.

And if all this is a bit linky mad for you, then just click here and see these biscuits....

Ahhhhh Christmas food......

Are you free?

Is anyone heading in to the Quilt and Craft fair next Saturday the 24 th ?

Being the rather anal librarian type that I am I have organised a little schedule

Depart Ballarat train Station on the 8:13 train

Arrive Melbourne 9:23 am

Meet at Ballarat Patchwork stand (103) at 10.30 am

Re-convene at Amitie (H36) at 1pm so then we can have lunch and check out each others shopping.

How does that sound? Want to come and join us - it'll be the usual Ballarat crafty crowd (everyone welcome).

If you want to meet up - just join us at either Ballarat Patchwork or Amitie- or drop me an email and I'll give you my number if that suits you better.

(please remember that you will need comfy shoes and large bags. I recommend only bringing small axes if you plan to go on an I-met-my-friends-on-the-Internet-killing-spree )

some days.... (apologies to Mr Denver)

Some days are diamonds

Some days are stone

Sometimes the hard times won't leave me alone

Sometimes a cold wind blows a chill in my bones

some days are diamonds

and some days I want to stab unsuspecting strangers in the forehead with my quick un-pick

Its nothing personal of course.

Don't worry

I have no idea what I am doing either

Medical update

Remember Edna?

The spirited young filly?

She valiantly led the charge against Arsicus-grows-ever fatticus, never shirking under the weight of the challenge, never tiring.

Unfortunately the battle was simply too big.

As the winter came, Edna found herself spending more and more time in the stable.

Yes, she still got out for the odd brisk trot, a few delightful rolling canters (downhill of course), and she would toss her head and step out out with pride.
Of course as they days got shorter and darker and colder it was time for Edna to move permanently into the stable , where she is warm and safe.

But what of my ever-growing arsicus.......?

Experts were consulted and there was some serious concerns about the State-of-the-arsicus if it were left to roam freely and unchecked until Summer.

You may not realise, but Arsicus-grows-ever-fatticus is a disease of stealth..........Without your knowledge your arsicus grows silently, camouflaging each added millimetre, unnoticeable to the human eye and then suddenly

BAM !

Your pants won't do up!

Its no good whinging and whining that they did up perfectly fine last week , or even yesterday. Arsicus -grows-ever-fatticus is an unrelenting, unforgiving affliction..

But I am Jodie- maker of stuff !!!
and I will not be defeated. I will keep on, until the sun shines and Edna and I can gallop once more across the plains!

Let me introduce the Black Stallion.

He has only thrown me twice!

gentle prodding

You know, I often need a gentle prod to get things happening. Last year Maree nagged me into submission and I finally wrote the Parsley and Beet pattern.

This time , you guys have Cynthia to thank. Cynthia has been gently prodding me for a pattern for Monty and Pearl since ...about forever. I fudged about and dilly-dallied and talked myself out of it for ages. I told myself it was silly to make a pattern for such tiny fellows - but Cynthia disagreed....

So here it is...I was never ever going to ship kits for these overseas as the cost is just plain rude - but these mini patterns just slide on through like a letter.

These are actually more like a tutorial with a colour photo to go with each step-by-step instruction.

Anyway they are in ye olde shoppe right now and they are already on sale at Winterwood in Melbourne. (That is also where I get the delicious hedgehog fabric in the above photo if you're interested.) They are also on their way to the gorgeous Pom Pom Rouge in Queensland as we speak.

and because they are such well travelled little fellows, this weekend they will also be on sale at the Quilt and Craft Fair in Hobart. One of my gorgeous Senior Managers Jo, is helping out on Fee's stall and they have all my patterns and a box full of samples - so if you are heading in please stop and say Hi to Jo and Fee of Mother's Cupboard on stall C10.

Monty and Pearl would be pleased to see you - this is their very first overseas adventure.

hard work ?

On Friday I packed my little car to within an inch of its life and headed to Daylesford.

I visited the Garage sale to end all garage sales at Lark, ran into Deborah, met Peta and maintained my sugar levels with coffee and cake.

After cake I hung out at Merrilyn's shop, trying to helpful but mostly getting increasingly excited. In the afternoon we headed off to Peppers and began setting up the room for the 100 or so women who were arriving the next day.

There was hugging and kissing at the arrival of Anette and Melly and we set up our displays and ogled each others lovely bits and pieces. The projects for the weekend were gorgeous, there was something for everyone. Eventually, Melly and I headed off for dinner. As you can imagine dinner was a very serious affair as we discussed the state of the world and everything else. The discussions continued as we headed for the bar on our return to peppers. Our conversation was so interesting the waiting staff came to stand at the door to listen (or maybe they wanted us to finally shut-up and leave.)

Saturday was awesome, lots of amazing women, lots of craft, hours of laughter, gorgeous food and it all passed in a blur. I met Michelle, one of my gorgeous Senior Management Team (aka-pattern testers) and saw some truly amazing things during show and tell . I also seemed to spend a lot of time with only one shoe on! I really had so much fun. I don't think I drew breath all day.

(that's not all that unusual)

When the last people had gone, we were off again for a quick visit to Daylesford Makers Market, a glass of champagne at Lark and a bit more shopping at Threadneedle and Purl's Palace.

We all returned to Peppers to fall into the leather couches by the fire whereupon a young man politely offered us some drinks (what a nice fellow).

Anette entertained us with stories of her amazing life, her different roles within craft and fashion and her extensive travelling while we recuperated and then we were whisked off to the private dining room for a truly magnificent dinner.

(I really really hope that room was sound proofed. Six hysterical women all laughing and talking at once - we could have powered a small nation on noise alone).

On Sunday , once again I got to hang out with amazing crafty women. I caught up with some bloggy friends and met some new ones. I made some great new friends that I really hope to keep in contact with. I ate apple crumble, and Thai fish cakes, and fresh crispy salads and warm scones.

I saw a huge array of craft at show-and-tell time and I got to show off Mr Gocco to people too!

All too soon it was time for everyone to pack up and go home. I took a very inelegant lady-tumble in the car park while packing my car, that could have, if caught on video probably won me a prize.

So again it was hugs all round and promises to keep in touch and a lot of congratulations to Zoe and Merrilyn and their amazing team (Jodie spunk-bubble Abel, Joy, Amy, Michelle, Rahnee and many more I have no doubt) and it was time to hop back in the little car and come home.

At home I began regaling the family with stories of the weekend and the new friends and the hysterical snorting laughter. Master 15 was a bit confused, "I thought you said you were working this weekend, that doesn't sound like work".

you know what ? ................ just between us, it didn't feel like it either.

feel free to hate me just a little bit

Can't stop - must dash !
heading off to massively exciting teeny bit scarifying craft weekend

(image from peppers website)

via awesome garage sale

(image from lark)

yeh I know you hate me (in a good way)

Just because you can......

Doesn't always mean you should.
I spent a HUGE amount of time yesterday working on little baby turtles, step by step photos -the whole bit.
But you know what? As cute as they are, I just don't think they are replicable - and no its not because I think I am some freaky genius and no-one else can do it, its because something that is only 2 1/2 inches long should not be made up of 12 separate pieces....

I was absolutely ramming layers of wool felt through my machine...and I just don't think it will translate that well into a sewing instruction

Step 7. Squash the hell out of the whole project so it fits under your sewing machine foot. Hold your breath, keep your fingers out of the way and ram the fabric through......

Back to the drawing board on that one.

Of course Milligan may have preferred that I spent that time looking through my 70 kersquillion buttons to find some to hold his wings in place
(is it wrong to admit that it would be quicker to drive to a shop and buy two buttons than it would be to sift through my huge unsorted tubs of buttons?)

So here he is, still with pin eyes, and cottons hanging from his feet, but steadfastly loyal and happy in his own duck world.

When he is totally finished and accessorized he will be heading off on an adventure and not back here for quite a while.

and even though I know that he is just Doctors flannel and hobby fill and cotton.........

I'll miss him.