Monday, June 23, 2014

Before 9 in the rain

The hot water tap in the shower was feeling poorly.
It was set to drip for the entire day.
The woman firmly edged it toward the OFF position.
Overworked, the tap exploded upon the already-dressed-for-work woman.
The woman tried to stem the steaming scalding flow.
The water would not be stopped.
The hot water service hiding behind the dodgy wire fence was imposing.
The gas line ? The release valve? The pressure doohickey?
The woman found and read the manual.
The manual did not help.
The woman unsuccessfully rang a plumber.
The woman googled.
The woman swore. (Again)
The woman couldn't find the water mains.
The woman dug in the undergrowth of the front yard
The bathroom grew increasingly sauna-like
The woman rang the water board.
The bathroom was flooded.
Unearthed from the winter garden bed, the water main was impossible to budge.
Another plumber was called.
The woman's voice may have been shrill.
Under instruction the still-drenched woman turned off the hot water service.
The woman was awesome- the problem was solved !
The woman cleaned up the mess.
As instructed, the woman tried one-more-time to turn off the mains.
The stick, saw the woman coming, watched her bend, lined her up and poked her right in the eye.
The woman will be having an early night.


  1. i don't know if i should laugh or cry!!!!!

  2. Oh no!! Not a good start to the day!! But I am glad those sorts of things don't just happen to me, and hope it's some consolation to you that those kind of things don't just happen to you :)

  3. Oh dear! The woman had a bex and a lie down
    .....and a scotch

  4. I hope the woman had a strong scotch.

  5. It's a crazy test and you passed.

  6. A visual of the woman has me LMAO! I do hope the woman's eye is OK but I think she could create a fun eye patch if necessary.

  7. I'm sure these types of events are designed by the liquor companies. Look for the hidden cameras and the special bottle in your fridge. They are looking for the smile as you drink tonight...

  8. The woman's friends stand and salute her! After they finish cleaning up the floor, because their bladders can not cope with this level of laughter on weakened pelvic floor muscles!

  9. Ah crap what a day...Hope tomorrow is better!

  10. so sorry - sounds like a rubbish way to spend time. Hope your eye is OK and that the voice has climbed down from shrill now! Well done for dealing with it all!

  11. For God's sake woman - write children's books! You are hilarious and amazing - possibly in the other order. I will buy whatever you write. I could only dream of being half as entertaining as you are! You are a joy!

  12. Please stop! I'm nearly 50 and my pelvic floor cannot take the strain! Sorry to hear about your crappy to change knickers.

  13. Oh no! Hope it got better from there (and that your eye is alright! )

  14. Early night? I would have gone straight back to bed!
    You have my sincerest sympathy with all of that. The plumbing in this house is over 30 years old, and the tapware is getting on a bit, so forewarned by your tale, SO is going to be given the task of ensuring I can find the water main. I know where the hot water service is and there's a lever thingy to turn off the supply of gas, but dunno about the water bit. Might need a lesson on that one.
    I hope the rest of the final week of term goes a bit more smoothly.

  15. Only a woman with all your skills could cope with all that so early. You deserve an early night.

  16. Oh dear, Jod - sorry to know that your Super Powers failed right at the end... will you have to wear an eye patch to the quilt show??? And how is your darling little deer? And did you have an early night or did you faff around with felty body parts? Hope your week runs smoothly from now on.

  17. Goodness, what a day!
    Woman deserves to treat herself to ...a massage? A holiday in Bali? Both?
    Yes, that's it, massage on a Bali beach. Go for it :)

  18. I am guessing you were late for work then.

  19. Truth is stranger than fiction.

  20. sorry I'm with some of the others. I would have turned around and gone straight back to bed! Here's hoping tomorrow is a better day :o)

  21. There is enough drama in this post for a whole play! Sorry to here that your bathroom was flooded, hope you were not burnt by the hot water? What a major pain in the @#&*@^#!! oh and eye :(

  22. That just sucks on so many levels! I'd grab my favorite stuffie and go back to bed. You could act all surprised when hubby comes home and asks why the bathroom is flooded. Really? I hadn't a dear and clean it up for me. ;p

  23. Wow! What a nightmare! I do hope the woman is okay :/

    p.s. you obviously are as I read your latest post before this one but still...what a bugger!

  24. I shouldn't really laugh should I? Hope woman is okay!


Hellloooooo !!!!