Today I went shopping with Daughter, we started off at a cute little vintage clothing place. I was the walking wallet, and happily so. I bought two crazy western styled shirts for Son but Daughter found nothing.
We headed off and did some op-shopping (thrifting) and she bought some stuff and I tried not to breathe too deeply at the fountain of human odours mixed with moth balls.
We went to a discount food bulk buying kind of place. It had the craziest array of foods , it had litres of toppings, like you use for milkshakes, plus the pumpy things to put in the top. I stood there for a ridiculous amount of time trying to justify buying one.
They had food items for five cents !! Five cents, you can't even put five cents in a parking meter... They also weird angry woman doll things to make your fridge smell good.
Then we saw the bag of sauce, yes a BAG of sauce.... like litres of sauce.... a huge bag of sauce (ketchup). It was like the bag of wine inside a cask , but clear and full of sauce. It had no valve it was just a sealed bag...of sauce.
I totally lost my shit. I could not stop laughing. It was huge and blobby and wobbly and strangely medical...like a giant bag of sauce. I would stop laughing but then think about laughing and it would all start again like some weird hysterical time space distortion of laughing and I had to clench every woman muscle I have.
After I calmed down and wiped the tears, we continued to shop and yet I kept thinking of all the shit I could do with a bag of sauce. I could buy two bags and be totally sauce-rich. How would I decant it ? Could I pierce the bag and squirt it at people ? There was a lot of boxes of bags of sauce at this place...why hadn't I heard of sauce -related mischief around the town?
We kept shopping , we bought stupid stuff but its food so I am ok with it.
On the drive home we discussed all the pranks we could pull with a bag of sauce. Oh how I wish I took a photo....
(I have shoppers remorse-I can't stop thinking about the sauce)
you've always been resauceful
ReplyDeleteThe best thing I've read all day. 😂😂😂
ReplyDeleteHow would you get the sauce out that is totally bizarre. Oh too bad about the buyers remorse. I think that it is a lot of sauce to use especially two bags... but plenty for pranks as well. I hope the clothes all come up well after a wash. I always wash and iron clothes I give away, and when I was donating my sisters clothes the lady at a very posh shop that I took things too, said not to bother as they have volunteers who can't get into the shop so they do the washing ironing and mending. She even encouraged me to take int things that might have had a stain anthem as her volunteers are marvellous... I was very surprised, I think I need those volunteers to tell me their secrets. Thanks for a very entertaining blog post always good to get a laugh or ten.
ReplyDeleteOnly you, Jod. Only you. 🤣😂
ReplyDeleteSo good to have a fun day like that. That sauce sounds good for Halloween.
ReplyDelete