On Tuesday Doctor 2 (the surgeon) decided Mr Ric Rac needed surgery and sent us to another hospital. (Doctor 2.5 was also present and we believe is a student doctor of some sort but he wasn’t introduced and plays no further part in our rollicking tale). Please note his clothes had the sharpest creases of any clothes ever ironed.
Today Doctor 3 needed to discuss many things with Doctor 4. After visiting Doctor 4 at least three times during the consultation, Doctor 4 eventually joined us. He had a lovely Irish (?) accent so I liked him immediately.* Doctor 4 didn’t think surgery would improve things very much but decided that it needed further investigation. Both Doctor 3 and Doctor 4 seemed perplexed by the treatment so far but cast no dispersions upon the good character of Doctors 1, 2 or 2.5.
On the advice of Doctor 4, Doctor 3 tried to organise a CT scan but it was booked solid, we heard his side of the conversation as he tried to persuade them of the urgency of the scan to no avail. Doctor 3 hung up and said a swear word and disappeared for a while. On his return Doctor 3 told us it was all sorted, he had run down to radiology and fixed it up. Is that normal ? I have no idea? Did he fix it up gangster style? A closet member of Sons of Anarchy ? It seemed pretty cool to me.
So we went home. Halfway through microwaving last nights leftovers, we got the call to return for the CT scan. This was done by someone we presume is a radiologist so he is now called Radiologist 3 - he had interesting hair. In fact the whole radiology department were snappy dressers. I like a nice dress pant on a chap.
Tomorrow we will go back and relay the story from the start to Doctor 5 while looking at Radiologist 3’s scan.
So if Doctor 5 says surgery, that would put him on the side of Doctor 2 (and we can presume the unspoken but well creased Doctor 2.5) but against Doctor 4 of the lovely accent. Doctor 3 is obviously subordinate to Doctor 4 so I have to guess he is on the side of no surgery, even though he seems like a man of action. Doctor 1 was the Emergency room doctor so he gets no say in the further developments.
This would mean we have 5, 2 and 2.5 against 3 and 4.
Or we could have 2 and 2.5 against 5,3 and 4.
I have learnt:
- Waiting rooms are all kinds of ugly
- Always take a book, sewing, a packed lunch no matter how quick you are told something will happen.
- In a waiting room situation other peoples children are not that attractive –sorry.
- You are not meant to play with the up down bed pedals when the doctor leaves the room – no matter how bored you are! but you can help yourself to one of those rubber gloves if no-one is looking.
* For those playing along at home do not judge your doctor by their accent. Doctor 4 was nowhere near as cool as Doctor 3.
No lady doctors? That would add interest to the fashion parade.
ReplyDeleteMy but that all sounds incredibly tedious.
Wishing you and yours the best and swiftest of outcomes.
'I like a nice dress pant on a chap.'
ReplyDeleteBest. Line. Ever.
what a great recount! Poor Mr.
Oh bl**dy Nora. Truly truly hoping mending, of whatever kind required, happens super soon.
ReplyDeleteGot a red marker pen? apply to glove and inflate. Chicken hats may be therapeutic.
Huge and over-the-hill-ish thanks for the birthday wishes over on the book face xxx
Omg so hilarious!!! I can relate from both perspectives. I have a chronic illness myself which took over a decade to diagnose (no lie) and I lost count of how many doctors and specialists, scans, tests, scopes,etc that I had and visited! I also work in a major metropolitan hospital and can total relate to the hospital / doctor / staff antics. It does get to a stage where you either have to sit back and look at the funny side of things or I think you would go insane! It can be so hard to get some doctors to make a decision about anything or for,that matter even get the same doctor!! As I can see Read you are having some of the same issues, lol!!!
ReplyDeleteWhen I'd had my wisdom teeth out and was coming down from the weirdest anaesthetic ever, a nurse came into the recovery room, put down a pair of rubber gloves and walked out again. In my druged state I thought it was a great idea to take the gloves and hide them in my pocket. She came back in and made a very amusing (to me) pantomime of looking for her gloves, before leaving to get some more. It was only when I found them i my pocket a couple days later that I remembered it.
ReplyDeleteI am with Emmapebble - chicken impressions required during next waiting room attendance. I would say get the patient to take video but am guessing that is probably not entirely possible.
ReplyDeleteUgh, that all sounds incredibly frustrating. I cannot compete with Emma and Trash over rubber glove suggestions - or at least nothing that could be published here - so I will just wish you well and hope you get definitive answers soon.
ReplyDeleteYou know if you blow those rubber gloves up they look like a rooster head .. and they keep the kiddies happy.
ReplyDeleteOMG it's like your playing a game of Doctor Lotto...which numbers will come up!...got to agree with you re children in waiting rooms, sorry but it is true (having a desk in a waiting room shared with another health service than the one I work for...arrrrgggghhh!!!!!)...how boring not playing with the up/down pedals, isn't that what they are their for, patient amusement...OK probably not...
ReplyDeleteGood luck with it all...hoping you win Doctor Lotto at the next draw...
.... and not a McDreamy in sight. Bugger.
ReplyDeleteMy head is spinning! How do you do it?
ReplyDeleteHaving spent time in a few, with a few, I can assure you that in a waiting room situation, one's OWN CHILDREN are far from attractive. No apology necessary! Sucks... I hope something is decided, whatever it may be.
ReplyDeleteI hate waiting rooms, especially with the kids. (Actually, without the kids they're kind of pleasant and relaxing, haha). We hate those little clinic rooms even worse.
ReplyDeleteWe steal rubber gloves and turn them into chicken heads.
We ride the bed up and down. Some doctors and nurses are ok with this and some aren't.
We play peek-a-boo around the curtains.
We try not to push the big red button or fiddle with the oxygen bottles... and by the time we leave, all the cupboards have been locked.
I hope what ever these doctors decide between them, that they come up with the best solution for the long-term health of both you and your husband, both physically and mentally.
and btw, you just made me go watch that on youtube. Funniest thing every.
ReplyDeletewell after the two Ronnie's and the four candles...
Always take more than one ball of wool with you for crafting and a book for the patient..I think this is one of the funniest recounts of the hospital merry go round I have heard in ages. Glad to hear there are still a few snappy dresser out there.
ReplyDeleteI trust the right decision will be made soon with your consultation in the process, best of luck and health to you and yours.
That's all good, but what is the rhino's name?
ReplyDeleteI can't help myself and smiled !! I really hope things will turn fine though!!!
ReplyDeleteSorry I was looking for the voting form anyway I reckon no .6 will know what's what .
ReplyDeleteSeriously though I do feel for you both and wish you the very best .
ReplyDeleteAnd just how many glasses of wine were harmed in the writing of this story? I'll have one each too for both of you and hope that helps....with further story telling and a happy ending.
ReplyDeleteHugs, Kathy
Thanks for making us laugh Jodie (the rubber glove made me snortle) - but I hope you guys are seeing some kind of funny in all this - keep your hopes up high, take one day at a time cliche cliche!
ReplyDeleteI'm rooting for Doctor.... - ooh not sure (I am a big sucker for an Irish accent..)
I love how you can always turn frustration into something hysterical. And I must say, I'm more than a little disturbed at the proper UK bloggers and their creativity involving uses of rubber gloves. Who knew??? I certainly hope you're not on the road to meeting Drs. 6, 7, and 8 and that a solution will be found soon!
ReplyDeleteSounds like your doctors were far better dressed than the doctors we've seen during the last week or so, since my husband took a ride to the ER in an ambulance. I felt a little guilty for rather enjoying the waiting around, though, as I HAD taken some crocheting with me...
ReplyDeleteWhere's Doctor Who when you need him?!
ReplyDeleteWhat a merry go round--thanks for the eruditely hilarious recap! Are you sure they were all doctors? Here in the states there are many Physician Assistants and Nurse-Practitioners who do not hold a medical degree but can diagnose, treat, and prescribe. It is sure easier to say Doctor than Mr. Physician Assistant.
ReplyDeleteGood luck to you and Mr. Ric Rac. Hope the next waiting session is much more enjoyable now that you have new ideas for entertainment:)
Good grief. Hoping next hospital/doctor waiting room is full of no children, people with weird hair and crazy tatoos. And cookies. Lunch just isn't as good without cookies. Good luck to you and the Mr. And I guess doctor 5.... since he seems to be the deciding factor.
ReplyDeleteDamn. It just continues to suck at all levels. I feel for ya. I really do. :(
ReplyDeleteHugs across the ocean blue...
Holaaaaaaa
ReplyDeleteEstoy alucinada con las cosas tan bonitas que haces. Llevo media tarde viendo tus muñecos en tu galeria de flickr, son preciosos. Muchas gracias por los patrones que ofreces.
Jodi, I hope they're not charging admission fees for this roller coaster ride you are on! Crazy! Good luck. I hope the CT scan confirms or refutes the necessity of surgery so at least you have a path forward. Jeez. How's the patient coping? I bet he never felt so desperate to wipe his own ass, poor man.
ReplyDeletesheesh!
ReplyDeleteLets hope there is no Doctor 6 hiding behind a bed curtain. Hope all goes well. Ohh and I had an Irish Doctor for delivery of No 1 daughter - stunning being told to push in an Irish accent...vbg. Double ohh - yes those bed thingies that go up and down are heaps of fun and yes you do need something to do - I often thought a thermos and cut lunch and a major craft project was the order of the day.
ReplyDeleteWorking in a Large Hospital Yes I can relate to the Madness of Dr's & Yes shove comes to push when they appear up front in Radiology LOL...and Your Right Dr No 1 has left the building..No Say.
ReplyDeleteWe have many McDreamies which can make a working day very Pleasant pity they didn't pop one in for you to make the experience a little more pleasing...
Hope you get the right outcome and all goes well for Mr RR.
Take Care.
When will you be making Doctor softies, Jod? Best of luck to you and the Mr; hope you can both keep smiling.
ReplyDeleteYou are still cracking me up, and I do have sympathies for you all. I work in a hospital situation and we see all this going on,think it is a very ineffiecnt use of hospital resources(Dr time)and reminds us of a 3 ring circus. But there is light at the end of the tunnel, and keep up the humor, its the only thing that keeps the hospital staff relatively sane!
ReplyDelete( We have our own forms of black humor...)
I love you take ont his situation and having experienced a similar situation over the last 7 weeks with my son I can fully understand. Had to chuckle at the CT scan bit. We had the same thing with an MRI ... fully booked, phone call from specialist two to MRI man did no good. Specialist No 2 left room, comes back and MRI is booked! Would love to know what gets said in those conversations :o)
ReplyDeleteI am now officially waiting for your book. I love reading anything you write. I think you are the tip of a new writing phenomena. A new twist to the domestic biography.
ReplyDeleteI just read that last comment. I really hope it doesn't get interesting enough for a book.
ReplyDeleteOh Jodi! lol and I'm sorry and thanks for sharing your story. *big hug*
ReplyDeleteOh Jodie, your recount is so funny. I used to work in the industry and I can recall your situation so many times over. Sorry that Mr Ric Rac is having to go through all this, lucky he has you beside him!
ReplyDeleteYIKES!!! hope husband 1 recovers quickly before you have doctore 21, 22....
ReplyDeleteOh, Lord! I thought I had the market cornered on most time spent in waiting rooms. I'm sure you make friends wherever you go as they say, "May I ask what you're making?" A project is almost as good as a puppy when it comes to starting a conversation.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure you're gonna win the "how many docs do you see" contest here pretty soon!
ReplyDeleteRubber gloves are fun, so is playing with the up/down pedals....but I tell ya, wheelchair races are a *whole lotta* fun! Of course, I guess you'll have to let the Mr. have a head start...or not!
I have to admit tho...I skipped over all kinds of kids the day I wheezed into the ER with big ole hives & a heaving chest. I stood my turn in line, tho....but when I got to the counter, they took my (military) ID and said, "come with me. Now." I had to wonder how many moms that pissed off. Sorry y'all!!
Here's hoping someone agrees with someone, and someone takes ACTION that resolves the issue!!
Jodie, I am so sorry that you and Mr. Ric-Rac are going through this hell. Is Mr. Ric-Rac entitled to an opinion? Sometimes our own hunches about health are more accurate than any scan. I am wishing you both a win in the doctor crapshoot: sharp-creased, snazzy, and melodious-voiced while explaining in detail what needs to be done and why, along with an accurate idea about how soon Mr. Ric-Rac (and you) can return to normal. Thank you for laughing; in your shoes I would be shrieking. CarolB in SB
ReplyDeleteWell look at it this way - if you don't get a definitive answer soon from doctors 2 through 5, you will be able to see just how sharp your (as yet unnamed) rhinos horn is when you shove it in places the doctors themselves will need medical attention to retrieve! Just an idea....
ReplyDeleteI hope your children are planning to pamper and spoil you for Mothers' Day next Sunday, you deserve it.
Wishing you all the best.
What a nightmare!
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with waiting room kids.. and the worst is they ALWAYS come to you.
Fingers crossed everything ok.
Thing of you
ReplyDeleteThinking of you that should most obviously read !
ReplyDeleteThey all need a bloody good nurse to sort them out and tell them how to get on with it. (Not that I don't think doctors are brilliant, but sometimes it takes a nurse to get things done!).
ReplyDeleteHope it all gets sorted soon and Mr. Ric Rac starts to mend.
Rubber glove games can become addictive.
Ugh Jodie, I've been right there and it sucks! Mr Moog went through several xrays, scans, and three physios and a year of very painful 'treatment' before they decided the reason it wasn't getting better was that his wrist was, in fact, broken.
ReplyDeleteHoping you draw the lucky doctor out of the hat and get poor Mr Ric Rac sorted. Id still be tempted to go for the one with the Irish accent whatever his proposed treatment.
xxx
Doctor 2.5 was most definitely a student - the no introduce/no speak is a giveaway. Love the post - ever considered a career in stand up comedy?!
ReplyDeleteYou crack me up, having been a nurse and worked for Drs all my life nothing surprises me, however we have a a very nice waiting room with nice clean un dog eared recent magazines and some very nice David Bromley on the walls. The rest of the points I agree with, however you can play with the bed it doesn't matter if you get caught. You will not be the first and you certainly wouldn't be the last.
ReplyDelete