So "the band" are off playing an all-ages gig this afternoon and it is sigh of relief. An all ages gig means that the Mr Ric Rac and I (and all the other parents) don't need to be there to supervise.
Whilst a good parent would never dream of denying her child the wonderful opportunities and experiences that being in a band offers, it must be said that I would be happier if I didn't have to share all those experiences.
Of course I am always as supportive as I can be from the greatest distance possible whilst still maintaining supervision. Under strict orders to go nowhere near the stage, the parents tend to hang in an uncomfortable cluster by the bar. The bar is sticky, as is every other horizontal surface in the place. The floor ? I try not to look but I know it is there because I can usually feel it vibrating.
After the first hour or so as we watch the support bands support we all resign ourselves to the fact that even if we put out lips right into each others ears and yell, we cannot possible hear each other. I usually read all the band posters and mentally correct the grammar and spelling. we text each other comments about what is happening on stage and have a polite shandy.
As the evening wears on, the patrons get drunker and the skirts get shorter. There is a whole world of weird parenting in the observance of drunk girls with their push-up "personalities" at the fore, ogling the 15 and 16 yr olds.
Once the band has played their set, they usually have a juice or two and kick back to watch the other bands (it doesn't matter that it is WAAAY past my bedtime, I have definately turned back into a pumpkin and my whole body and brain is vibrating- nope it is band etiqette to stay and watch the others bands, after all , they got you the gig).
Of course by now I can't even hear the music or tell the difference between one mop of hair and another as the crowd is thick and I am trying to keep my eyes on all four boys at the same time. The polite shandy has kicked in, my eyes are watering and I am clenching the lady muscles to the point of no return. I may or may not try and stare down the bouncer in the hope that he will kick us all out. The polite shandy way back at the start of the night is always a mistake - be warned. There is no horror like the horror of a sober 42yr old visitng a night club toilet in the wee hours of the morning.
Trust me on this and buy them a chess set.
I can sympathise. My middle boy is in a band...hard punk rock which they compose themselves. I couldn't bear it if I had to go and watch, neither could he...he's 35 already!
ReplyDeleteGosh, you know, it just occurred to me that I've never been to a nightclub so loud that we had to text each other, since I have been in possession of the technology that allows me to do so.
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking that if we ever find ourselves in the same situation, we should be able to turn off our hearing aids at least...
You are a brave woman. I'm glad it's the husbands mid life um, choice, going off to music festivals and not mine just for the toilets..
ReplyDeleteThe thought of that toilet scene fills me with the horribles! I'm guessing you may want to choose something different..like a non-liquid next time, so you don't have to make that visit. Maybe a liqueur chocolate?
ReplyDeleteMy daughter's guitar teacher puts together two or three concerts a year which nobody but his pupils' parents are mad enough to go and watch. After the first few times, when it was still a novelty to see my 'little girl' up on stage looking like a rock chick, I could no longer bear it. France, as you may know, is not at the forefront of rock music and to hear my favourites being massacred, in a French accent, by the singer(who also happens to be the guitar teacher!)' is too much for this sensitive soul.
ReplyDeleteBon courage (as we say here) for all your future shandy sipping,sticky carpet, grotty loo visiting ventures - you will go to 'good mother' heaven and I will not.
Oh that's hilarious! I just think you had good foresight to have your kids young- you're only 42 doing, what about all of us that had kids later? we'll be even older, doh! Just think how much they hate having their parents there, punishment enough teehee
ReplyDeleteOh to be young again! At least you don't have to come home smelling of smoke like we used to when we went to a pub or club.
ReplyDeleteOh gosh Jodie, I do feel for you. Been there, done that and we didn't have mobiles to communicate with, I think I might have learned shorthand sign language at the time. Soooo glad it's not a grandparents job as well..
ReplyDeleteLizzie
xxx
Oh dear, the verification word is ... baloni. Trying to tell us something do you think..?
Oh my. I'd better keep Stella away from the instruments then because if she was doing gigs at 16 I would be - gulp - 55.
ReplyDeleteWhat a crack up!
ReplyDeleteHere's hoping they hit the bigtime and treat you to a life of luxury as payback.
oh don't... don't...
ReplyDeleteI'm in denial...
So you know Will is into his guitar right?
ReplyDeleteAnd that I have just seen a horrifying glimpse into my future?!
Gawd.... if only mobile phones were invented when I was a wild young thing, my eardrums might still work reasonably well.....
ReplyDeleteI'm kinda glad I have a geeky-booky-crafty-kid who appears to have no musical ability whatsoever. She quite likes chess.
Ok so after that piece of wonderful advice if any of my children even look sideways at a guitar or think about being in a band I will lock them in a room for the rest of their lives.
ReplyDeleteHope the loos weren't too disgusting.
I did guitar in high school but never ended up in a band.......have "fun"........
ReplyDeleteI chuckled but secretly thanked God that my one and only was (and still is) into quieter pursuits! Perhaps working in a CD shop turned her off loud music!
ReplyDeleteI find that both hilarious and fascinating. And I thought the school band concerts were excruciating! I think my husband would be in heaven if any of our kids showed that much interest in music, as it is, I worry that I will have to go to his gigs, and he's 41. Happily our 4 teens just like going to hear music.
ReplyDelete'Roadied' once for my cousin's punk band. As a consequence both my children have been directed towards rock-climbing.
ReplyDeleteSo good to see your sense of humour intact and seeing you through the hard times... children just don't appreciate what we do for them... until they have kids of their own. I'm sure a future grandchild needs a drum set...
ReplyDeleteWhat did you do to your parents to cause you so much suffering now?? Is it karma?
ReplyDeleteClassic! It will be a great story when they're famous!
ReplyDeleteThank goodness for texting...at least you can poke each other awake with a text! ;0
ReplyDeletei'm so sorry; but that really made me laugh. even at 18 i fdidn't go to clubs, the thought as a 30 something of even knowing someone who goes terrifies me-you're v brave!
ReplyDeleteI am 41 but my oldest child just started primary school...so thanks for the tip I will file it away under good parental advice for 10 years time. Mind you his school specialise in Japanese drumming, I anticipate that is as interesting as recorders and yodeling to my ears and I am going to have to attend way sooner!
ReplyDeleteFunny how nightclubs no longer hold their appeal, when did that happen? Probably about the same time I started watching ABC Gardening show!
Happy screenprinting, Sue SA
I could think of nothing worse than having to go to a nightclub or pub these days, my idea of heaven is spending a Sat night at home in front of the tv!!! One day I will share the story of us taking our son to a heavy metal concert in the States!!!
ReplyDeleteThat is just too funny
ReplyDeleteHilarious! and "I'm sorry!" :)
ReplyDeleteOff to buy a chess set...
ReplyDeleteI think you should do more than stare at the bouncers. In fact those band members of yours should be encouraging you to be kicked out. How rock 'n roll would that be? Not only would the band be notorious, but their parents would be too!
Oh dear I feel for you, I can't think of anything worse and that is all yet to come for me....I heed your advise! Thank you, Thank you, THANK YOU :-)
ReplyDeleteHahaha -- you have my sympathies, Ms. RicRac!!!
ReplyDeleteKnitting would do nicely in such a circumstance, surely?
ReplyDeleteOh dear... you really do deserve a medal!!
ReplyDeleteyou poor bugger. Can you take a friend?
ReplyDeleteMay need to re-think the eight year olds drum lessons.....
ReplyDeleteWhat a lovely mum you are and I am sure when they are all rich and famous youll look back and laugh and then you wont need your day job and you can create to your hearts desire. Made me smile and remember that saying that youth is wasted on the young!
ReplyDeleteI had to clench my lady muscles just to get through this post. Your son is lucky to have you. Just think one day, you may appear in the credits on the CD liner "thanks for driving us Mum, and not getting plastered like the other Mums"
ReplyDeleteLove the knitting suggestion! I second that. Pull out your sewing bag... maybe stuff a few heads... just make sure the cat isn't in the stuffing when you get there!
ReplyDeleteHmmm, with your fabulous fingers, maybe you should have had the guitar lessons. Rock and Roll Ric-Rac perhaps?
ReplyDeleteI can play guitar up to a point, but don't play in a band, just for my own amusement. I have never deafened my mother with it... I did frighten the cat when I was learning the viola an instrument I didn't stick with.
Lol! Oh no!
ReplyDeleteI've just had my first baby, a boy born 3 months ago. I must bookmark this post for later years when he's considering learning a musical instrument. I'll have to ensure it's the least portable, band-worthy instrument ever ;) A tuba perhaps?
At chez Martin we decided it was a male bonding experience, and I got to stay home and sew while Larry worked on his father of the year award. Nice!
ReplyDeletelol oh Jodie! How funny. You have describe the scene so well. Just be thankful he's in a band and doesn't play the bagpipes or something else equally as annoying!
ReplyDeleteI'm going to commit this post to memory for future reference - thanks for the heads up Jodie, I'm hoping I don't have all this to look forward to!
ReplyDeleteYou're earning loads of Brownie Points for later, when they hit the big time and indulge you in a life of well-earned luxury :o)
xxx
oh to have a chess playing child!
ReplyDeletementally correcting spelling and grammar
definitely & etiquette
its the teacher in me!!
it's
ReplyDeletehilarious!!!!!!
LOL! i can just see it! I too have been there, I am so wanting to be supportive, but it is not my music, give me something gentler anytime! but i am proud of my boys, don't get me wrong! He is now doing paid gigs now and i support him from a distance by buying tickets but not going,He loves it though!
ReplyDeleteOh God it sounds horrendous!! Definitely going to steer them towards the chess set........! Locket xx
ReplyDelete