To the tune of Sandra Dee (with heartfelt apologies)

Look at me, I’m forty-three.

Lousy with obesity.

Won’t make the bed,

Cos’ I’m sewing instead,

I won’t; I’m forty-three.

 

Just here to say it’s my birthday

bloody hell hip hip hooray

I’m getting old

but it’s better than cold.

I sew another day.

 

As for you, you troll or two

I know what you wanna do…

hate me you must

I’m no object of lust.

I’m just plain forty-three.

 

Look at me , I’m forty-three

short and round and quite crafty

I sew up stuff

and I fill it with fluff

I do; I’m forty three.